Plastic Surgery Safety has been weighing heavily on my mind after reading about the tragic death of Andreia Vieira Gaspar

Recent stories about the death of Andreia Vieira Gaspar stopped me in my tracks.

Andreia was 51 years old when she died in Brazil after undergoing an extensive cosmetic surgery that reportedly lasted more than eight hours and involved six facial procedures. Reports have described procedures including a facelift, eyelid surgery and liposuction, among other facial procedures. She reportedly paid R$118,000—approximately $22,918—for the surgery. The circumstances surrounding her death are still being investigated, with her family raising questions about her preoperative and postoperative care. (People.com)

Reading her story made me incredibly sad.

And, maybe somewhat controversially, I can relate to the desire that may have brought her there.

It is easy for people on the outside to say, Why couldn’t she just be happy with herself? Why did she need all of that surgery?

But we live in a world that constantly celebrates youth and beauty. Women are told to age gracefully while simultaneously being bombarded with images, products, treatments and procedures promising to make sure we barely appear to age at all.

At 43, I can openly admit that accepting the physical signs of aging hasn’t always been easy for me.

You notice changes in your face. Your skin doesn’t have quite the same laxity or firmness. New wrinkles appear. Suddenly you’re noticing chest creases, changes in your body and loose skin in places you never even thought about ten years ago.

If you follow La Beauty Guide, you already know what happens next in my house.

I research.

A lot.

I’m constantly reading about the newest beauty treatments, skincare products, supplements and devices, hoping somewhere in all that research there’s at least something that can slow the clock down a little.

And here’s the part I think is important to admit: some of the procedures Andreia pursued are procedures I would consider for myself someday.

That is exactly why I don’t feel comfortable judging her.

Wanting Plastic Surgery Doesn’t Make You Vain or Broken

I understand the temptation of wanting several things done at once—especially when you’ve spent years thinking about them and suddenly an opportunity seems financially possible.

But wanting cosmetic surgery and approaching cosmetic surgery safely are two different conversations.

This tragedy should not become an excuse to shame women who want plastic surgery. It should remind those of us who do consider these procedures how seriously surgery needs to be taken.

That means thoroughly researching the physician performing your procedure, verifying credentials and experience, understanding where the surgery will be performed, asking about emergency resources, discussing your complete medical history, completing appropriate preoperative testing and having an honest conversation about whether multiple procedures should be performed together or staged.

There is no cosmetic result worth ignoring your health for.

And when traveling for surgery, there are additional questions worth considering: Who will care for you afterward? What happens if you experience a complication? Who will manage your follow-up care once you return home?

Those aren’t nearly as exciting to research as before-and-after photos.

But they’re considerably more important.

I Understand the Pressure More Than I’d Like to Admit

Maybe my reaction to Andreia’s story is also personal because beauty has played such a large role in my own life.

I’ve spent years working around the plastic surgery and beauty industries. Earlier in my life, I also worked as an entertainer, in an environment where appearance could almost feel like currency.

When you’ve experienced life that way, aging can mess with your head.

Sometimes I catch myself comparing the woman I am now to the girl I was in my 20s.

Back then, beauty seemed almost effortless.

I barely thought about Botox. Gray hair wasn’t something I needed to cover. My skincare routine was minimal. I could gain a few pounds, start exercising again and seemingly watch my body snap back overnight.

At 43?

Let’s just say the maintenance department has expanded considerably.

Sometimes I joke that I want to move somewhere far away, get off social media and simply age gracefully without thinking about any of this.

What Pamela Anderson Has Made Me Think About

One woman I’ve found strangely inspiring lately is Pamela Anderson.

Pamela spent decades as one of the world’s most recognizable sex symbols. The blonde hair, dramatic makeup and full glamour became part of her image.

And now, at 59, we’ve watched her repeatedly attend major events with little or no makeup.

She has described this period of her life as being about simplifying things and approaching herself from a place of self-love rather than presenting it as a rejection of beauty altogether. (Good Morning America)

I love that.

I’m not suddenly throwing away my skincare, canceling every future cosmetic consultation and becoming completely indifferent to aging. If you know me, you know that’s probably not happening tomorrow.

But seeing a woman who was once judged so intensely by her appearance publicly allow herself to look like a woman in her late 50s makes me think.

Maybe there is room for both.

We can enjoy beauty.

We can want to look our best.

We can use skincare, Botox, lasers, cosmetic treatments—or even choose plastic surgery.

And we can also work toward accepting that aging itself is not a personal failure.

Women Deserve More Grace

My biggest takeaway from Andreia’s story isn’t that women should stop having cosmetic surgery.

It’s that we need to be kinder about why women sometimes struggle with aging in the first place.

There is an enormous amount of pressure placed on women to remain attractive as we get older. Trying to keep up with that pressure can be emotionally exhausting—and financially expensive.

So instead of immediately asking, Why would she do that to herself?

Maybe we should occasionally ask:

What makes so many women feel like aging is something we’re supposed to fight so desperately?

I don’t have that answer completely figured out yet.

I’m still learning how to navigate it myself.

But what I do know is that wanting to feel beautiful doesn’t make a woman foolish, shallow or deserving of judgment.

We can talk honestly about cosmetic surgery and its risks.

We can encourage women to make careful, well-researched decisions.

And at the same time, we can give one another a little more grace while we’re all figuring out what it means to grow older in a world obsessed with staying young.