Dating yourself in your 40s is important whether you’re married with children, in a relationship, or single in your 40s, I think this is the decade when learning to love and prioritize yourself becomes more important than ever. And by prioritizing yourself, I mean treating yourself with the same care and effort you probably put into yourself when you first started dating someone.

Remember that phase? You planned your outfits, did your hair, took care of your skin, worked out, and generally put a little more effort into feeling good about yourself. Why should that stop just because we’re older, comfortable in a relationship, busy with children, or simply exhausted by life?

I’m 43, in a relationship, and the mother of a 20-year-old daughter who is now living on her own, working and going to school. I’m fortunate to be at a stage in my life where I have more time to prioritize myself, and I’ve decided to start treating my health, beauty and fitness almost like a full-time job.

But even with the time, it hasn’t always been easy.

I spent more than two decades working in the beauty and entertainment industries—two worlds where appearance can feel like part of the job description. For years, I was constantly surrounded by aesthetics, beauty treatments and the pressure to maintain a certain image. Eventually, I think I just got tired.

When I turned 40, I went through a period of I don’t care anymore.

Fitness stopped being a priority. My diet wasn’t much better. And because I had spent years working as an entertainer—sometimes dancing in heels for eight hours a night, three or four nights a week—I had never really needed to think about exercise the way I do now.

Well… newsflash: your body notices when you stop.

After taking a long break from a consistent fitness and nutrition routine, I’m now working overtime to rebuild the muscle and strength I lost and take better care of my skin and body along the way.

And that’s really what this is about.

I’m not trying to become 25 again. I’m trying to figure out how to be the healthiest, strongest, most confident version of myself at 43—and how to do it without spending a celebrity-sized fortune.

I’ve been researching supplements, collagen, strength training, skincare, at-home beauty devices, treatments, and even little things like affordable gym clothes and lounge sets that make me feel more put together. Some things have become surprisingly extreme—I’m literally training myself to sleep on my back because of the lines forming on my chest.

Welcome to your 40s.

Consider this my experiment in dating myself again: putting in the effort, trying new things, taking care of my body, and finding realistic ways to look and feel good at this stage of life.

I’m sharing what I’m trying, what I’m learning, what I think is worth the money—and what probably isn’t.

Because getting older is inevitable.

Giving up on ourselves isn’t.

Rebuilding Muscle in Your 40s

When I was younger, I was so fit that I could literally wear anything. It was always fun getting creative with my outfits when it was time to shop for a Friday night out with the girls. I would get the best workout just going back and forth throughout the entire Glendale Galleria looking for the perfect outfit.

High strappy shoes, short shorts, tiny skirts, backless tops, low-rise jeans with a halter top—my options were endless.

These days, putting together an outfit can feel like such a depressing mission because instead of thinking about what looks cute, I find myself thinking about what hides all of my imperfections.

I even canceled our yearly staycation at The Roosevelt for our birthday celebration because I didn’t feel poolside ready with my body. It genuinely made me sad because the weather was perfect for laying by the pool, drinking one of their delicious piña coladas and listening to the fun music they play.

That was a serious wake-up call for me.

I don’t want to keep missing out on things because I don’t feel comfortable in my body. So I’m becoming fully committed to rebuilding my strength and getting back into shape.

My goal now is to work out four times a week, primarily doing weight training and switching things up some days with Pilates, Lagree and hot yoga.

Although, as much as I love hot yoga, sometimes just thinking about taking a class stresses me out because it is such a production.

First, I have to shower to get ready for class. Then put on a cute fit, put my hair up, pack a set of dry clothes for afterward, get to class, somehow survive the class, peel off my tight, soaking-wet clothes in the tiny girls’ locker room, put on dry clothes, come home, hang up all the wet clothes, shower again and change into another set of clothes.

LOL.

I know I’m being dramatic, but tell me that’s not the truth.

Supplements, Protein & the Other Half of the Equation

Along with working out, I’m also paying much more attention to my diet, protein intake and supplements.

I like to do extensive research on what I take because I want things that are affordable and accessible—preferably something I can easily reorder from Amazon. Consistency matters, and I’m much more likely to stick with something if it’s easy to keep in my routine.

After using Vital Proteins for a long time and personally not noticing much improvement in the bounce or appearance of my skin, I decided to try something different that contains VERISOL® collagen peptides.

After reading a ton of reviews, I decided to overnight Sparkle Wellness Skin Boost Plus. It contains VERISOL® bioactive collagen peptides along with vitamin C and hyaluronic acid.

I’m looking at collagen primarily as part of my skin, hair and nail routine rather than as my muscle-building supplement. For my workouts, I’ve also added creatine, which has much stronger evidence behind it for supporting strength and muscle when combined with resistance training. There’s also some interesting research around creatine and cognitive function, which made it even more appealing to me.

And then there’s protein.

Protein is a huge part of maintaining and rebuilding muscle, especially as we get older. Depending on your body, goals and activity level, protein needs are going to be different for everyone. Personally, getting enough protein through food alone every single day can be difficult for me, so I’ve also added Perfect Amino to my routine. You get 30 grams of protein for 1 calorie from one serving which is 5 tablets.

Affiliate Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one of my links, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. I only share products and treatments that I genuinely use, love, or believe may be helpful to my readers.

I’m excited to stay consistent, document what I’m doing and eventually share what actually made a noticeable difference—and what didn’t.

Make the Lifestyle Fun

This might sound superficial, but I swear it matters: buy cute workout clothes.

If you’re going to the gym, Pilates, Lagree or yoga several times a week, activewear becomes a legitimate part of your wardrobe. Invest in a few different sets that make you feel good when you put them on.

And you absolutely don’t have to spend $150 on a pair of leggings.

I’m currently obsessed with Halara. A lot of their pieces give me the support and compression I like around my stomach and the little areas I’m still working on. I’ve also found some really cute affordable workout sets through TikTok and used Klarna to spread out some of my purchases.

For me, part of rebuilding my body in my 40s is also rebuilding my relationship with fitness.

I don’t want exercise to feel like punishment for gaining weight or getting older. I want to learn to genuinely love an active lifestyle again—to get stronger, take care of my body, wear the cute workout clothes, try different classes and actually enjoy the process.

I’m 43. I’m not trying to get my 23-year-old body back.

I’m building my 43-year-old body—and I want to see just how strong she can become.

Sleep and Skin…

So here’s the thing about sleep… They always tell us to get our “beauty sleep,” but they don’t tell you how comfortably sleeping on your side, stomach, or practically on your face like I used to can seriously contribute to face and chest wrinkles.

I’m a person who LOVES her sleep—the kind who will literally wake up at noon with sleep lines across her face. LOL! Sometimes after sleeping a whole 11 hours.

But over the past year, and increasingly over the past few months, I’ve started waking up and immediately checking my chest to see the damage. The chest wrinkles are there, and honestly, it has felt like a dark cloud hanging over my head.

So I’ve been focusing a lot more on skincare for my neck and chest.

I recently had a PRX treatment at The Aesthetic Bar in Manhattan Beach, where I treated my face, neck, and chest. I loved the treatment and noticed that my skin felt softer and some of the lines looked smoother. It’s about a $500 face-and-neck treatment and is recommended as a series of treatments.

Sadly, doing that every week is definitely not realistic for my budget right now. But PRX has officially made my list of luxury treatments that I’ll come back to whenever I have a little extra money to spend.

What I’m Doing at Home

In the meantime, I’ve created my own little chest-rejuvenation routine.

I’ve been using the Dr. Melaxin Wrinkle Care Set and DRMTLGY Retinol Body Lotion. I also use my Medicube Booster Pro to help with product absorption, my JOVS LED neck and chest light, and, of course, SPF.

But one of the biggest changes I’ve made has nothing to do with skincare products at all:

I’ve been training myself to sleep on my back.

If I decide I want to splurge and sleep comfortably on my side, I use fluffy pillows and my SIO Beauty silicone chest patches to help prevent those deep sleep creases.

For daytime hydration, especially right after getting out of the shower, I recently purchased Naturium The Glow Getter Body Oil. It has a botanical blend with squalane, jojoba, rosehip, and sea buckthorn, and I’ve been using it to give my body—and especially my chest—some extra hydration.

And then there’s the non-negotiable: a good SPF 50 every single day.

Throughout the day, I’ll also reapply lotion and spray PLUXOS 47 face mist whenever my skin needs a little refresh.

I’ve been putting a lot of effort into seeing how much I can improve my skin with consistency before investing in serious laser treatments. I especially want to make sure I’m fully trained to sleep on my back before committing to anything more invasive and expensive.

But make no mistake—I am determined to rejuvenate my chest skin.

Also, I really need Kim Kardashian to spill her secrets because she has one of the most beautiful necks and chests I’ve seen on a 45-year-old woman. Kim, if you ever happen to read this, PLEASE send us the protocol. LOL!

Beauty Is More Than Skincare

In addition to all this hard work, I think there’s another part of aging well that we don’t talk about enough: keeping our stress levels down.

It might be time to end the toxic relationships in our lives, prioritize our peace, read more, spend less time mindlessly scrolling through social media, move our bodies, and actually take care of ourselves.

At this point, aging well has become an Olympic sport for me. LOL!

But more importantly, it’s becoming a lifestyle.

I’m going all in, and I’ll be documenting my results along the way—sharing what works, what doesn’t work, what was worth the money, and what I probably should have left sitting on the shelf.

I hope you enjoyed this post and maybe found a few things you’d like to try along with me.

If you have any questions, comments, recommendations, or anti-aging secrets of your own, please feel free to email me at audrey@labeautyguide.com.

Here’s to getting older, taking care of ourselves, and doing the best we can with the time, budget, and beauty tools we have available.

Affiliate Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one of my links, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. I only share products and treatments that I genuinely use, love, or believe may be helpful to my readers.